the effects of french fries

Posted by Jake Good
on Mar 03, 06

So I was at lunch today when I passed a White Castle



(This article may get strange… I used to do things like this on my old blog)



As I was approaching the intersection I saw two large black birds with something in their mouths. It just so happened they were each holding 4 or 5 french fries that were obviously tossed out by someone near the White Castle.



My question is: What will the effects be on birds because they pick up junk food / restraunt food to survive? Will the cholesterol do something to the birds? Will they survive? Will the fittest survive because they don’t pick up the fries? Can humans learn from this sort of natural selection? Do you think that the birds would become super fat birds and will end up never flying?



What do you think?

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  1. blameMikeMar 03 06 @ 05:18AM
    Personally, I think the birds will get hip to the fact that french fries, and junk food in general will make them fat, and as a result, do as any rational, thinking, entity in our crazy society does: Sue! They'll sue White Castle for making them obese, and for all the hardships they'll endure as a result. Hardships such as: reduced flight speeds, lower flying altitudes, and wing injury from the excess weight.

    That makes sense, doesn't it? Yep, perfect sense.

    ;)
  2. mike hMar 03 06 @ 05:18AM

    The high level of cholesterol in the fries will cause a physiological change in the birds over time. This physiological change will result in the birds to perspire an infinitely small amount more than they normally do. As more and more birds eat fries, the amount of water vapor in the air will increase, eventually causing the amount of precipitation and temperature to increase over Greenland. Greenland's glaciers will begin to melt at a higher rate and a mass climate change will occur, accelerating global warming and ultimately leading to the extinction of the human race and all of our creations.



    Moral of the story: throw your damn fries in the garbage. Idiots.

  3. Jake GoodMar 03 06 @ 05:18AM
    excellent theories
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